Love After 40

 Thinking about that question really hit home because a vast amount of us dumb down ourselves to attract a certain kind of mate. For example I am a very strong willed person and I have hidden that part of me to date certain men come on there are men and woman who expect certain things from their mate and believe me some of it is pure foolishness but yet we want the man or woman who makes six figures and who can give us the world so to speak so we pretended to be what they want usually these types want someone who needs them they like to be the knight in shining armor eye roll but I found that I can't remain happy not being my true authentic self. I feel trapped and caged so to say the least I don't stay in these type relationships for very long. The crazy thing is these men are willing to put a ring on it and they never even knew the real strong opinionated me. I have learned in the last couple of years that I would rather remain single and happy then taken and caged. We say lo...

 I have found that during the dating process we are conditioning people to love us a certain way. What do I mean by that? Well, during the dating process it's supposed to be a time of getting to know the individual we are courting for example learning their favorite color, where they grew up and their religious preferences and their over all values when it comes to everyday living. We have gotten away from the traditional roles for which dating is even for and turned it into a dog and pony show through expensive gifts, baecations and overindulgence in things that aren't even relevant in a true romantic relationship and then we wonder when we can't afford to do all the things we did before why our partner is upset and ready to walk away because you have condition them to love you through material things rather than what a romantic relationship is supposed to be based off of pure love and affection. I'm not saying you can't shower your person with gifts and attention ...

 I believe the dating game has changed so drastically because we no longer value the same things as we did fifteen years ago in terms of relationships and marriage. When our parents married they married for love, stability, loyalty and over all happiness. Their dating process looks nothing like today's we hurry though everything and only look at the surface of the person we are dating and some how this is the new norm and we wonder why six months into a marriage we talking about this isn't the same person I courted. But it is we forget that courting is much more than going on outings together, baecations and sharing intimate moments there is much more to the process and we are leaving it undone. I have found that in this generation of dating people don't remain true to themselves in the process so you never know truly what your getting until it's to late so to speak. We have been taught to hide our flaws till after the wedding that is the worst mistake you can ever make...

  Whose, with me when it comes to the thought of dating being like a continual roller coaster ride that literally can make you feel sick to your stomach!  I have dated guys with pure intentions and the scam bags that only want to get in your pants not having the slightest intention of it being more than a friend’s with benefits package. How can we filter out the bad ones and how do we heal ourselves enough to accept the good ones? I have learned that where we think some experiences haven’t left their mark they are truly the ones who have cut us the deepest and we start to see the world through fogged glasses scared to take leaps of faith and standoffish when it comes to opening our heart to real and true love. Can I be real in terms of relationships I see no rush in me getting into one and I know it’s due to some past hurts I have endured even seeing my friends and family getting into relationships and better yet married and getting dogged out. I have tried to be more objectiv...

 It's crazy how just ten years ago the dating game was pretty much an even playing field but times have changed and the rules are clearly different. Me being a 40 something widow and mother of five children have found it hard to adapt to this new found socialization of dating. When I met my husband about fifteen years ago we followed the old school rule of dating first we met at church I wasn't sure of my attraction to him at first but once we got to talking we had a great deal of things in common such as our love for poetry and education. That lead to us exchanging numbers and then becoming exclusive within four months of being in a relationship we were married and we stayed married up till his death in 2014. Now, the rules have changed there are stages to dating like the talking phase which means you can still see and talk to other people because you have not yet made a choice in wanting to actually spend your time and money and take them on a date. Then there is the dating p...

 Have you noticed that once your divorced, widowed or fresh out of a relationship how hard it is to fall in love again? Well, I have been divorced, I got remarried and was in that marriage for about twelve years and my husband passed away unexpectedly and now after nine years of being widowed I still have yet to make a love connection. Let's be honest the dating pool right now is full of crazies and want to be freaks....Lol. I have been kind of limited to the kind of man I really want and need due to the lack of them existing. Ladies we might be damaged which makes us picky this isn't a bad thing we are just more cautious due to our experiences having formed our reluctance to crap. I am a certified life coach and I have talked to so many woman who are in my same boat let's help each other navigate this new world of 40ish dating. Who's willing to come along with me and my friend's on our journey of discovery into the unknowns of 40ish dating?