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Still Here

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 Life has been crazy for me the last two years. I was diagnosed with kidney failure and a heart condition which have changed my quality of life.  I was out of work for nearly seven months and depression started to rule my life. I didn't want to get out of bed, eat or interact with people due to the huge weight loss of nearly a 100 pounds which made me feel self conscious and unattractive. Can you imagine looking in the mirror and the person looking back at you doesn't look like you anymore. I am not complaining because I could be dead and gone. I nearly departed this life on three separate occasions but God had other plans for me. Have you ever just asked God why me? I know I don't do everything right yet I am honest about my short comings apologize often if I offend and ask for forgiveness if I fall short. I am kind to my neighbor, I respect people and their feelings and I make sure to always be available for my church and community. What did I do so wrong that you would t...
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It's been a Heck of a Ride!

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 It's been a long year full of a lot of things that changed my life some for the better and some that left me reeling physically, emotionally and spiritually. I got married in December 2024 to the love of my life. We actually dated in high school nearly 33 years ago and God brought us back to the beginning in which we became husband and wife in a beautiful ceremony in Jamacia surrounded by family and friends. While in Jamacia I got really sick from the food which landed me in the hospital for a week. I am thinking that after that crazy ordeal that the nightmare was over. Exactly two months later I end up in the ER feeling like I was having a heart attack and struggling to breathe. Never thinking that I would be hospitalized for nearly four months fighting with kidney failure as well as something called broken heart syndrome. Losing over 90 pounds dealing with severe muscle and bone pain which can be excruciating at times and days when it's difficult to even breathe.   ...
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                                               Learning to invest in yourself this Fall! In my 46 years of life, I was always the type to want to make sure everyone was good even at my own expense it wasn't until recently I learned a valuable lesson and it opened my eyes to the fact you can always show up for others and those same people won't show up for you. So, this Fall let people, places, and things that don't mean you any good go and live your best life! People will demand and pull from you and never give back. They will see the toll it's taking on you and will talk about you, tear you down to others all the while watching you and praying for your downfall so they can say I knew she or he couldn't do it or I told you she or he wouldn't get out of this situation. But I am here to tell you to invest in your future, business, dreams, and goals. A...
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New Year New You the Irony of it all!

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 In light of the changing year, we all come to the conclusion that we must change different aspects of our lives or better ourselves in some way whether it be weight loss, decluttering our homes, changing careers, or searching for love we all dedicate ourselves to the process of growth and newness. I always wonder why we must wait until a certain time of year to make purposeful changes in our lives. Life doesn't stop because it's not January 1st and it darn tooting ain't going to wait for you to show up so why do we put time frames on evolving into better versions of ourselves.  What is it about our nature that holds us back from seizing moments that can change our lives? In my case, it has always been fear I tend to stay towards things and situations where I have a defined outcome and safety in the general routine of things. I have never been one to just take a risk I must have a defined plan, execution, and outcome before I will ever invest my time and energy towards anyt...
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Mother vs Father in the single world?

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 In light of the holidays of Mother's & Father's Day, I have seen some crazy talk among the natives and it is downright disturbing if you ask me. The question I pose is why we feel that one parental role outweighs the other, especially in the single community. Honestly, children need both parents to thrive in our society.  If we really look into it the narrative has changed a lot because I see a lot of single fathers holding it down and it may be even more challenging for them, especially in terms of getting any type of assistance if they need it due to the stigma behind grown men providing for their own households. Now, let's be clear there are a lot of fathers who do not do right by their children but still many who would risk it all for their offspring so let us celebrate those men.  Why does it have to be a competition between which parent is better or who deserves more credit? Motherhood and fatherhood are very different in comparison if you ask me what I can tea...
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Love is just a word without action!

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 I have found that everyone uses the term I love you so very loosely, especially in romantic relationships. Why do you think that is? I have a hypothesis about it and it deals with what we were taught that love was in our youth. We must understand taught behavior follows us into adulthood and if we are not careful that learned behavior will wreak havoc in our adult life in terms, of employment, finances, romantic relationships, and even our mental health.       Growing up I realized I had never seen much in terms of public displays of affection between my parents and this literally made me as an adult shy away from it in my marriages because I couldn't rationalize why exactly it was needed. Now, in the intimacy of my bedroom, it was on and popping with no inhibitions, and anything my partner needed I was willing to indulge him. Yet, I was never one to say the word I love you because to me it meant many a different things and they were all based on action. So, in...
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What are you willing to give up to make your relationship work?

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 I have been thinking about a big issue that raises its head in relationships today, especially in the age of technology. It would be the ability to let go or give up things that potentially can harm your relationship in terms of social media and friends of the opposite sex.  I had a great conversation with a very dear friend of mine who voiced the fact that any woman in a relationship with him would have to give up friends from the opposite sex especially those in which there was ever a sexual or romantic connection. I can't say that I totally agreed with that because there are friends that I have that at one point we were in a romantic relationship and it didn't work out so we remained friends and that's all there is between us is genuine friendship.  Now let me be clear if at any time something more is felt by either party in the friendship in terms of romantic feelings that friendship should be cut off because you are crossing into dangerous territory which could pote...
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