What are you willing to give up to make your relationship work?

 I have been thinking about a big issue that raises its head in relationships today, especially in the age of technology. It would be the ability to let go or give up things that potentially can harm your relationship in terms of social media and friends of the opposite sex. 

I had a great conversation with a very dear friend of mine who voiced the fact that any woman in a relationship with him would have to give up friends from the opposite sex especially those in which there was ever a sexual or romantic connection. I can't say that I totally agreed with that because there are friends that I have that at one point we were in a romantic relationship and it didn't work out so we remained friends and that's all there is between us is genuine friendship.  Now let me be clear if at any time something more is felt by either party in the friendship in terms of romantic feelings that friendship should be cut off because you are crossing into dangerous territory which could potentially lead to unfaithfulness. 

Let me say this as well if my partner expressed that there was a certain male friend with which he felt uncomfortable with me communicating I would most definitely cut off any communication in order to make my partner feel heard and secure for to me my partner outweighs any other relationship and or friendship because, at the end of the day, my guy is my best friend, lover, protector, and partner and always has my back so his wishes deserve to be respected point blank.

I would expect no less from him if I were to ask of him the same thing. I really don't have an issue with my partner remaining friends with people from the opposite sex as long as they know their place because I am secure in our relationship and in who I am but if at any point I see or pick up that the friend is looking for more or acting out of sorts best be believing that friendship between them is over. 

Social media is a really huge issue in relationships today because it is so easy to get caught up in inappropriate friendships and relationships online sometimes without actually knowing you are crossing a line. One example would be liking or hearting members of the opposite sex's posts when you are married and or in a relationship it can be seen as disrespectful and flirtatious leading your partner to have insecurity and trust issues. We have to understand that not everyone has the same level of self-confidence as others and that simple actions like interacting with a post can lead potentially to making one feel like they can't add up to the images you like on social media.   

Another would be using apps like Messenger, Whatsapp, and other messaging apps that give you the option to send messages without your partner knowing these apps even have secret places to hide pictures and dialog that you don't want to be seen. I always say if you have to hide messages, pictures, and or phone calls you are cheating. 

We have to understand cheating is not just physical it starts out with flirtatious conversations, pictures being sent, and phone calls that start out innocent, and then it goes a little too far which ends up in meeting up and the rest becomes history so to speak. 

When to know when a conversation between the opposite sex is going too far it is the moment you feel you need to hide it from your partner that is a clear indication that it should not be happening and needs to be cut off. 

Not cutting off these interactions can lead to arguing, separation, and even divorce. If the thought of losing your partner is not enough to stop interaction there is a much bigger problem and the relationship probably won't last just being honest. 

Does being connected to the person you are interacting with outweigh the love, history, and relationship you have with your partner. If so maybe you are not with the right person or you just aren't ready for a committed relationship either way you should really consider the fact that maybe your relationship is over. If that is the fact you must do the right thing and discuss with your partner the issues and feelings you are having so that you don't potentially destroy not only your relationship but your partner in the end. 

So, let us not let friendships and social media sites come between those we love, and care for let us consider the feelings of our partners before we interact as well as how much we put into outside friendships for at the end of the day the one you love should be your main priority. Till next time love, light & blessings!