It's been a Heck of a Ride!

 It's been a long year full of a lot of things that changed my life some for the better and some that left me reeling physically, emotionally and spiritually. I got married in December 2024 to the love of my life. We actually dated in high school nearly 33 years ago and God brought us back to the beginning in which we became husband and wife in a beautiful ceremony in Jamacia surrounded by family and friends.

While in Jamacia I got really sick from the food which landed me in the hospital for a week. I am thinking that after that crazy ordeal that the nightmare was over. Exactly two months later I end up in the ER feeling like I was having a heart attack and struggling to breathe. Never thinking that I would be hospitalized for nearly four months fighting with kidney failure as well as something called broken heart syndrome. Losing over 90 pounds dealing with severe muscle and bone pain which can be excruciating at times and days when it's difficult to even breathe. 

    What do you do when your whole world turns upside down and now your not alone you pledged your life to someone and the marriage is very new.  I started to lose myself and feel like less than a woman because I couldn't function like the woman he dated. I felt like a burden to everyone my husband, kids, sisters and even my church. How do you gain perspective  of the situation when you are blind by your own grief? In those moments of great loss and despair I almost lost hope but remembered the teachings of my parents and the voice of my mother rang in my ears "trust God" I can't lie my faith was shaky at best but when I made the decision to trust God things being to change for me quickly.

I had to get out of my own way and let God fix it. Before I always had the saying let go let flow but during that health crisis I just couldn't let the pain and frustration go. 

I have learned during this process that life does not always go as planned and that there will be monkey wrenches thrown in there every now and then but God is with us through them all. I am not out of the woods just yet but I am grateful to just be alive and functioning. I am no longer beating myself up for things I can't control and learning that I am human I make mistakes, have bad days even months LOL but I am still valuable, creative and a blessing no matter what it seems like to others. Stay tune to my story because it is just beginning. P.S. I finally found love after40ish and you will too! Till next time Love, Light and Happiness!