Are we teaching our partners how to treat us based on how we courted them?

 I have found that during the dating process we are conditioning people to love us a certain way. What do I mean by that? Well, during the dating process it's supposed to be a time of getting to know the individual we are courting for example learning their favorite color, where they grew up and their religious preferences and their over all values when it comes to everyday living. We have gotten away from the traditional roles for which dating is even for and turned it into a dog and pony show through expensive gifts, baecations and overindulgence in things that aren't even relevant in a true romantic relationship and then we wonder when we can't afford to do all the things we did before why our partner is upset and ready to walk away because you have condition them to love you through material things rather than what a romantic relationship is supposed to be based off of pure love and affection. I'm not saying you can't shower your person with gifts and attention sometimes but don't let that end up being the only reason they are really with you because then you don't have a emotional leg to stand on because you never got to know them outside of going on dates, trips and buying them things they don't really need. Building a relationship takes more than dates and gifts it takes learning the individual gaining a respect for their differences and embracing your likeness. We know that you need love, patience, passion, respect, openness, truthfulness, and that you must not be afraid to be vulnerable with your partner that takes trust you can only build that through getting to truly know one another. The sad part is we are getting married to people and scared to show them the most vulnerable parts of us because we don't trust them enough to love us through it and that is a huge red flag because if I can't be my true authentic self with the one I love who else will I be searching for to understand that side of me "outside" persons which lead to infidelity. We have to learn to take off the masks with one another and love the real way unconditionally or any relationship you have won't last past the rough patches......


 

Comments

ryry said…
We all need that "ride or die" partner in our life, I feel that it completes one self! And you will know you have the one! Now a days it's all about what you got, how you dress, what you drive, where you live, how many followers do you have, are you verified, what can you buy, and what can I buy them... Traditional love, romance, laughed, cry real emotions will never fade away but will be the basses of it all just that the new era and how things are done will over shadow tradition. Real love will shine the light!
December 29, 2021 at 8:50 AM
Untia B. said…
I agree that we all want that ride or die partner who will love us for who we are no pretense, crazy expectations just the general knowledge that love and respect brought us to this point of love...we have lost sight on the things that truly matter and we are hurting each other during the process. I totally agree real love will shine through we just have to open our eyes to embrace it!
December 29, 2021 at 10:03 AM
Mike said…
Very well stated. The part about “taking off the masks” is vital. Great read!
December 31, 2021 at 2:34 AM
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