Is the new way of dating more conducive to the game?

 It's crazy how just ten years ago the dating game was pretty much an even playing field but times have changed and the rules are clearly different. Me being a 40 something widow and mother of five children have found it hard to adapt to this new found socialization of dating. When I met my husband about fifteen years ago we followed the old school rule of dating first we met at church I wasn't sure of my attraction to him at first but once we got to talking we had a great deal of things in common such as our love for poetry and education. That lead to us exchanging numbers and then becoming exclusive within four months of being in a relationship we were married and we stayed married up till his death in 2014. Now, the rules have changed there are stages to dating like the talking phase which means you can still see and talk to other people because you have not yet made a choice in wanting to actually spend your time and money and take them on a date. Then there is the dating phase which means you can still see and talk to other people because your still getting to know your love interest it's getting confusing right because how can you truly say your getting to know someone if your attention is being pulled in different directions.....ugh 😒. I love the statement in the picture because it's how I fell in love no pretense, no forced or fake emotions just two people falling in love without all the different rules and manipulations yes I said manipulation because this new age of dating is a narcissists dream. But I digress let's continue then you have the phase of dating exclusively which means you can still talk to other people but you can only go on dates with your love interest sounds like bull right yeah smh....next we finally reach the phase where you are committing to one another and want to be in a relationship this process to me is exhausting to say the least and it leaves some lead ways into a relationship having issues later down the road. Can I be completely honest with you if someone wants to be with you and are sure about they don't need all those extra steps to be with you. To me it shows their character traits which are flawed right away it's almost like the saying having your cake and eating too. If your not familiar with that phase it simply means: to have or enjoy the good parts of something without having or dealing with bad parts. Ladies and Gentlemen please be safe out there the dating world is crazy to say the least till next keep your head and your heart open!!!




Comments

Untia B. said…
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December 21, 2021 at 11:24 AM
ryry said…
Love your words! I've been out of the game for about 14 years now, as I sit back and people watch, it's sooo different out there now a days! I feel that the "word" & "meaning" of marriage will fade away like holidays! Using pass relationships and pass experience helps us define what we are looking for. This applys to all mankind... If you are not happy with yourself and in a good spot, you will not make someone else fully happy and/or truly love them unconditionally unless it's fake and in that case there is no real love there.
December 21, 2021 at 12:37 PM
Jetta Niner said…
Everything is so different now than when i got divorced back in 1998...I didnt have a problem joining Dating sites or going to Meets and Greets...The Main concern to me now is who can be trusted ..people lie and wont tell the truth about their relationships...To be honest im not trying to meet any new Ladies ..I have lots of Friends i met at the Meet and Greets plus my Church Friends .but it would be nice to know someone who has the same interest as i do..such as ..music. sports ..Church etc
December 22, 2021 at 7:26 AM
Untia B. said…
I agree, the dating game is way different and yes it's pretty easy to get connected on dating sites but you have to be very careful people who catfish and scammers are real. The difference today is everyone makes themselves be what the other person is looking for instead of remaining true to themselves and we wonder why there is so much divorce and splits because you don't know who your getting until after the ink drys on your marriage license.
December 22, 2021 at 7:41 AM
Untia B. said…
Your words ring true we are expecting people to be in charge of our happiness when we are not even truly happy with ourselves. We must first heal ourselves deal with those issues that plague us when no one else is around and learn to love and cherish ourselves so we can love and cherish a partners correctly.
December 22, 2021 at 7:44 AM
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