Love After 40

 Looking back over the years of marriage and relationships I have been in I have learned some great lessons some good and some I wish never had to be learned but they have all lead up to the point of gaining knowledge that will help me not to make the same mistakes and hopefully help others as well. Growing up as a girl we were taught that our prince charming would come  sweep us off our feet and make us happy beyond our wildest dreams but this quite simply put was a huge fairy tale we have been sucked into and all wanted.  Let's be honest we waited our whole adult lives for the moment we would meet the man of our dreams who had the ability to turn our dreams into reality turn us from a maiden into a wife and granted some of us met men who did just that but were they able to live up to the standard of our perceptions did we burden them down with the weight of our happiness? I see that in some cases I have put to much on the head of the one I say I love making them work ha...

  We say we love yet we never think if the one we love is the one we should be loving and if our love for them is a hindrance or a blessing. Does that person make your life better tell you the hard truths and do it in a way that makes you want to change those things about yourself yet they never require it from you because they love the very essence of who you are and wouldn't want you any other way. Are they the reason that the season you are in hasn't changed for the better keeping you in a process in which our creator is calling for you to move past because they aren't supposed to be a part of your winning season. Sometimes the ones we pick God never wanted them to be more than a lesson and we move ahead of God and make them permanent therefore hindering the plan of God in our life. Can you believe that the one we choose as a life partner can keep us in a cycle of poverty and living from paycheck to paycheck only ever going so far because their life path was not ever ord...

 Do you think in today's society we are more prone to fall in love with the promise of love rather than look for the real thing? I have seen so many people say they are in love and that they love someone but when that relationship or marriage is tested it falls apart. So, can you really say that you loved that person or where you just in love with the promise of love you gave one another. Love is an emotion that runs deeper than you know when it is genuine there is nothing that can  sway that love when it's unconditional . I found that today we love based on works or benefits  nothing more so when those things are challenged or maybe even vanish we no longer love the one we claimed had our heart. We have become parasites always feeding off of or leeching off our partners never realizing the damage we have caused by loving for resources or pretending to love someone to fill the void of loneliness. Do you know how many times I could have been in committed relationship with ...

 In the news everywhere we are seeing celebrity break-ups that we never seen coming and these are the examples our younger generation and even us are using to  promote healthy loving relationships. Do we as a society no longer believe in fighting for love and relationships anymore or are we becoming a society that has no value in sticking things out when they get hard or undesirable. I was married for twelve years and believe me there were days I was ready to walk away from the relationship but I always remembered my vows and that alone plus the true unconditional love I had for my husband kept me home. My life at one point in my marriage was very difficult but I had to make the conscious decision to work towards the vows I spoke at the alter and put them to work in my relationship it wasn't easy actually it was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life, do I have some regrets about staying as long as I did absolutely but I never gave up on him or our marriage until his pa...

 What are your thoughts on settling in a relationship? I found that if we are patient in our pursuit for the right partner we will find them. Some say you can't find 100% of what you want in a partner I beg to differ because you can find someone with 100% percent of  the qualities you want it will just be flawed and to me those flaws are what makes me love you more because you are being open and genuine about who you are and your areas that might be unsavory to me this shows me a heck of a lot about your character. The simple fact we are all flawed but it's our flaws that make us unique and that is darn lovable to me. I never want to change my love interest or make them feel as if they have to become someone else to win my love and affection to me that is what settling is trying to pretend to be okay with not having what you want which will later end with you damaging someone who was never meant for you. I love a saying I saw once which said stop damaging other peoples mates b...

 In the fast pace world of dating people are ever evolving to gain the type of relationship we think we want. I personally don't believe that individuals who are meant for each other should have to change who they are to be with someone. This to me lacks the basic premise that we should be compatible with those in whom we seek romantic union. I guess I must be a little different I don't want my partner to be anything other than who they are and I will support the very things that make them unique. I am speaking from experience I was in a twelve year marriage in which I gave up who I was in order to make my husband happy and secure all the while losing myself and the ability to think freely and live my life in a way which would have also, made me happy. I was locked in a prison of my own making because I so wanted my marriage to work not realizing that if I wasn't happy in the end neither of us would really be happy. We have formed in our minds the illusion that a happy spou...