Do we truly believe that one must change themselves to have a successful relationship?

 In the fast pace world of dating people are ever evolving to gain the type of relationship we think we want. I personally don't believe that individuals who are meant for each other should have to change who they are to be with someone. This to me lacks the basic premise that we should be compatible with those in whom we seek romantic union. I guess I must be a little different I don't want my partner to be anything other than who they are and I will support the very things that make them unique. I am speaking from experience I was in a twelve year marriage in which I gave up who I was in order to make my husband happy and secure all the while losing myself and the ability to think freely and live my life in a way which would have also, made me happy. I was locked in a prison of my own making because I so wanted my marriage to work not realizing that if I wasn't happy in the end neither of us would really be happy. We have formed in our minds the illusion that a happy spouse is a happy life that is bull crap at it's finest because I can make you happy and be simply miserable doing it. Relationships are not always based off of happiness they are based off of the realization that happiness can turn into sadness, sickness into wholeness, giving everything to wanting to give nothing and heartbreaks to celebrations we just have to be able to love each other the way we are so we can get through it together. I want my next relationship to be my last so I am willing to put in the work on myself and not compromise with the things I want and need and I want my partner to have the same mindset. Our happiness is our individual business but our love is our combined interest. 



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