Is it worth losing yourself in the pursuit of love?

 I would say it's a hard no for me. Even though we all have our own thoughts of what we believe love is and what it looks like to us we have to understand the factors that have built these certain preconceived notations and if we are willing to give up what we believe in order to gain love. Here are some of the contributing factors such as religion, upbringing, society and culture. Can it be in our best interest to choose differently from what we are use to and could that possibly end up being the love of our life? I generally have a type but in the last couple of years I have tried to be more open minded in terms of the men I date hoping to find my forever partner without having a bias in place. I can't lie it's hard to date men you aren't generally attracted to and it takes a lot of patience during the dating process and changing your state of mind to not compare them to men you are use to dealing with. I am a really strong black woman and I have been told I am rather intimidating not because I am arrogant or overbearing but because I have my own thought processes and I am a self made woman so I don't generally need men for what most woman connect themselves to men for like, money, status and stability because I have that all on my own. I found most men my age want a woman who needs them in all aspects of their life and I fall through the cracks in terms of the damsel in distress because I saved myself a long time ago. So, my question is do I have to give up my independence in order to attract the type of man that wants to settle down or do I wear my independence like the badge of honor it is to me? Giving up what makes me who I am to be in a relationship seems rather damning to me because I am a strong believer that your partner should love the very essence of you the good, bad and ugly because that is why they were drawn to you and I believe that makes for an amazing soul connection in the end.




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