Are we really looking for love or just help?

 Having done a small poll of my peers I asked a simple question what was the real reason you decided to marry? Some said love but most where unsure some answers were I needed a place to stay and we got along really well and we knew that eventually we might marry so why not take a leap of faith. One guy said I loved the independence and stability that my wife had and somethings I was working towards she had already achieved so to marry her was a come up for me. One of the women in the poll simply said I was tired of being by myself so instead of being lonely I settled for someone who might not be everything I want but he is good to me. Listening to these answers I can't lie I became a bit weary because to me marriage is based off of love, commitment, mutual affection and God's purpose for the union. So, to hear that so many are marrying for financial reasons and loneliness it's a mockery of the union God ordained from the beginning. I find it very hard to settle for anything now that I have matured and gained experience because when you settle you are always going to want what you truly wanted in the first place and will eventually seek it out. This is why I believe so many people cheat in marriages now days men and women are attaching themselves to things that they don't really want but  rationalize it because it may satisfy or supply a need at the moment but there is nothing there to hold them together for the long run. I have always said I want a man who wants me not needs me because after the need is gone I am no longer a priority on their list and they will pursue what they wanted. But if a man or woman wants you they will continually do what it takes to keep you best be believing! 

We should be willing to let the process of dating work for us without rushing it, get to really know the person who you are marrying ask questions even about the hard stuff so you are both making the best decision for the both of you. Remember money, sex, status, and even compatibility can't keep a marriage together it takes love, genuine affection, patience, understanding, a slight bit of compromise, dedication and faith in the union & God's purpose towards the union must also be present.  We may say that God blesses all unions but that just isn't the case if the partner you chose was not in God's plan for you there will always be some kind of struggle and limited peace. Till next time Love, Light & Blessings!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Image
                                               Learning to invest in yourself this Fall! In my 46 years of life, I was always the type to want to make sure everyone was good even at my own expense it wasn't until recently I learned a valuable lesson and it opened my eyes to the fact you can always show up for others and those same people won't show up for you. So, this Fall let people, places, and things that don't mean you any good go and live your best life! People will demand and pull from you and never give back. They will see the toll it's taking on you and will talk about you, tear you down to others all the while watching you and praying for your downfall so they can say I knew she or he couldn't do it or I told you she or he wouldn't get out of this situation. But I am here to tell you to invest in your future, business, dreams, and goals. A...
Read more

New Year New You the Irony of it all!

Image
 In light of the changing year, we all come to the conclusion that we must change different aspects of our lives or better ourselves in some way whether it be weight loss, decluttering our homes, changing careers, or searching for love we all dedicate ourselves to the process of growth and newness. I always wonder why we must wait until a certain time of year to make purposeful changes in our lives. Life doesn't stop because it's not January 1st and it darn tooting ain't going to wait for you to show up so why do we put time frames on evolving into better versions of ourselves.  What is it about our nature that holds us back from seizing moments that can change our lives? In my case, it has always been fear I tend to stay towards things and situations where I have a defined outcome and safety in the general routine of things. I have never been one to just take a risk I must have a defined plan, execution, and outcome before I will ever invest my time and energy towards anyt...
Read more

Mother vs Father in the single world?

Image
 In light of the holidays of Mother's & Father's Day, I have seen some crazy talk among the natives and it is downright disturbing if you ask me. The question I pose is why we feel that one parental role outweighs the other, especially in the single community. Honestly, children need both parents to thrive in our society.  If we really look into it the narrative has changed a lot because I see a lot of single fathers holding it down and it may be even more challenging for them, especially in terms of getting any type of assistance if they need it due to the stigma behind grown men providing for their own households. Now, let's be clear there are a lot of fathers who do not do right by their children but still many who would risk it all for their offspring so let us celebrate those men.  Why does it have to be a competition between which parent is better or who deserves more credit? Motherhood and fatherhood are very different in comparison if you ask me what I can tea...
Read more