Does love cover toxicity?

 In light of all the things we have been seeing on social media about couples such as  Johnny Depp & Amber Heard, Will & Jada Smith even Steve J & Faith Evans we do in fact see that in many of these cases toxicity is the leading force in these unions and love in some cases have kept one or more of these people  in these unions. Let's look a little deeper how do we define toxicity within a relationship and when is it time to walk away from the pain, humiliation, physical & emotional abuse and even financial lost we are suffering due to our connection to the one we love. 

    So, by definition toxicity means the quality of being toxic or poisonous/the quality of being very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way. When we look at just the couples we named above we can physically see the harm being done and the affect it is having on the partner suffering through the toxicity of their partner, the pain in their eyes the humiliation as they suffer through their peers watching these disgraceful outburst and violence all in the name of what we call love. I was in a toxic marriage full of abuse physical, emotional & verbal  for more than 12 years and my answer when asked why did you stay when your friends and family all begged you to get out for your safety and your children.

     My answer was always because I love him and no matter what he does to me I still see the man I first fell in love with the quote which says love covers a multitude of sins is correct sometimes our love for individuals can be so strong that it literally makes us immune to the toxicity that is all around us. I have learned that when the relationship starts to turn abusive in anyway it's time to cut your losses and move on it's not worth the damage you suffer in the long run from staying in relationships that only bring pain & sadness and those moments are so many that you can't even remember the happy moments. 

    Let's remember that love doesn't hurt and it does not intentionally cause pain or harm that is manipulation and the characteristics of a narcissist many of the partners who are toxic have no clue that they are just that in their minds they have a notion that everyone is wrong and that they are the victim when in fact they are the perpetrator this is very dangerous especially when their partner is deeply in love with them and it never ends well and in some cases it even leads to death. 

    Please if you are in an abusive relationship get out and get help this is for men and women. Abuse should not be tolerated in the name of love let go so you can heal and be whole again. What I learned is that walking around half of yourself to keep a relationship is not worth it in the long run you can do bad all by yourself in my cause I am leaving better than I ever did in a relationship aka Living My Best Life. 

National Domestic Violence 

1-800-799-7233





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