Love After 40

 In light of the changing year, we all come to the conclusion that we must change different aspects of our lives or better ourselves in some way whether it be weight loss, decluttering our homes, changing careers, or searching for love we all dedicate ourselves to the process of growth and newness. I always wonder why we must wait until a certain time of year to make purposeful changes in our lives. Life doesn't stop because it's not January 1st and it darn tooting ain't going to wait for you to show up so why do we put time frames on evolving into better versions of ourselves.  What is it about our nature that holds us back from seizing moments that can change our lives? In my case, it has always been fear I tend to stay towards things and situations where I have a defined outcome and safety in the general routine of things. I have never been one to just take a risk I must have a defined plan, execution, and outcome before I will ever invest my time and energy towards anyt...

 In light of the holidays of Mother's & Father's Day, I have seen some crazy talk among the natives and it is downright disturbing if you ask me. The question I pose is why we feel that one parental role outweighs the other, especially in the single community. Honestly, children need both parents to thrive in our society.  If we really look into it the narrative has changed a lot because I see a lot of single fathers holding it down and it may be even more challenging for them, especially in terms of getting any type of assistance if they need it due to the stigma behind grown men providing for their own households. Now, let's be clear there are a lot of fathers who do not do right by their children but still many who would risk it all for their offspring so let us celebrate those men.  Why does it have to be a competition between which parent is better or who deserves more credit? Motherhood and fatherhood are very different in comparison if you ask me what I can tea...

 I have found that everyone uses the term I love you so very loosely, especially in romantic relationships. Why do you think that is? I have a hypothesis about it and it deals with what we were taught that love was in our youth. We must understand taught behavior follows us into adulthood and if we are not careful that learned behavior will wreak havoc in our adult life in terms, of employment, finances, romantic relationships, and even our mental health.       Growing up I realized I had never seen much in terms of public displays of affection between my parents and this literally made me as an adult shy away from it in my marriages because I couldn't rationalize why exactly it was needed. Now, in the intimacy of my bedroom, it was on and popping with no inhibitions, and anything my partner needed I was willing to indulge him. Yet, I was never one to say the word I love you because to me it meant many a different things and they were all based on action. So, in...

 I have been thinking about a big issue that raises its head in relationships today, especially in the age of technology. It would be the ability to let go or give up things that potentially can harm your relationship in terms of social media and friends of the opposite sex.  I had a great conversation with a very dear friend of mine who voiced the fact that any woman in a relationship with him would have to give up friends from the opposite sex especially those in which there was ever a sexual or romantic connection. I can't say that I totally agreed with that because there are friends that I have that at one point we were in a romantic relationship and it didn't work out so we remained friends and that's all there is between us is genuine friendship.  Now let me be clear if at any time something more is felt by either party in the friendship in terms of romantic feelings that friendship should be cut off because you are crossing into dangerous territory which could pote...

 In this fast pace society we live in it's hard to make time for yourself and let go of the everyday stress that boggles your life and that can be deadly. I have found that since I have gotten older my body deals with stress very differently than when I was in my twenties.  Stress now causes weight gain mostly around my middle section which increases my chances for a heart attack and or stroke. I deal with terrible headaches and body aches sometimes that literally can put me down for days. These symptoms magnify my underlying illness which is Lupus making fatigue and muscle pain unbearable at times so I had to find away to release the stress of my everyday life in order to secure the health of the future me. Meditation is one of the greatest forms of releasing stress the deep breathing and clearing of ones mind does wonders for the body and it's a very easy practice. When I meditate I use that time to pray and connect with my creator. As I speak out loud the issues of my heart...

 Well it's that time of year where we start to do some serious Spring cleaning not only in our homes but in our lives as a whole. I found that letting go of things can be rather difficult whither it be material or emotional if we deem any type of value in it.       How do we define what is still useful and what needs to go? One way would be that it still holds value in terms of usage if it's a household item, article of clothing and or  piece of equipment. But how do we define what has value in terms of emotional connections/baggage and if we should let it go?  Can I tell you that emotional baggage is the number one killer of new and budding relationships. Ask me how I know been there done that and that baggage had me literally judging my new partner unfairly because I refused to let go of the distrust, hurt, feelings of being unwanted, jealousy, pain and utter dysfunction that had taken place in the previous relationship. We say that we have let these...