Love After 40

 I was listening to Steve Harvey and the strawberry letter this morning and a young woman newly married is having issues with her husband wanting to be intimate with her on a regular bases both waited till their nuptials to engage in sexual intimacy and now the lack of it is causing a serious issue with this young woman's ability to connect with her husband. She has discussed with him on numerous occasions that she needs more from him in terms of intimacy and he dismisses her every time. She now feels that maybe he is not attracted to her and has done everything she knows to do to try and spark his interest to no aveil. He claims his parents didn't engage in much physical intimacy and he just doesn't need it all the time.  So, my question is how important do you think physical intimacy is in a marriage. And do you feel that the lack of physical intimacy can potentially result in the demise of the marriage even if every other factor of the marriage is intact? Here's my t...

 I often ask myself this question looking back through the years at my journey through love and the lessons I have learned. It's not that all my previous experiences with love were bad because they weren't I actually encountered some wonderful men who absolutely adored me it just came down to being the right person at the wrong time and I was unable to open myself up to the love and affection they were trying to bestow on me. And yes, you can definitely be with the right person at the wrong time in your life and it will be utter chaos not because you weren't meant to be but the timing was all wrong and maybe you hadn't dealt with your issues and still had a wall up like me or maybe you were in a time in your life where you weren't looking for a committed relationship and your partner was all in. We have to understand that timing sometimes is everything and if we go ahead of it or miss it all together we can lose out on the very love of our lives.       I conside...

  When we think of past relationships and the start or finish there of do we think of happiness, pleasure, affection, pain, sorrow, lost time and regret. Do we let the issues from previous relationships stop us from thriving in a new relationship due to the knowledge of how it possibly may go. The answer is quite simply yes, let's talk about it! I'll go first sharing a little of my journey and the issues behind my reluctance with relationships & love.       I personally have been reluctant to be in long term relationships due to things I have experienced in love yes I want companionship, and a life partner but to what expense is what I am always asking myself. Sometimes I think I am just scared to open myself up to the potential of it not working out and causing even more damage than I could gather yet there is a part of me that wants very much to take that leap of faith. I am one who wholly believes in working out your issues before pursuing any type of rel...

  This is a burning question does love equate a true connection or can you have a connection and there be no love? In my case I have had many connections to people due to similar interest, physical attraction and just liking their personality never feeling anything even close to love for them only maybe a mild amount of affection but nothing more. Can I say we throw that word LOVE ❤ around way to freely affection is not love guys!!!!       What changes a connection to a love match and I know some will say getting to know them while dating and building a relationship guess what I've done all that and nothing so that is easier said than done. What I found is that spending a great amount of time with individuals that you have a connection with can make you think what you feel for them is love because it's safe and familiar when in fact its nothing more than mutual affection you building a lasting friendship that has nothing to do with romantic interest at all. We ...

  In light of all the things we have been seeing on social media about couples such as  Johnny Depp & Amber Heard, Will & Jada Smith even Steve J & Faith Evans we do in fact see that in many of these cases toxicity is the leading force in these unions and love in some cases have kept one or more of these people  in these unions. Let's look a little deeper how do we define toxicity within a relationship and when is it time to walk away from the pain, humiliation, physical & emotional abuse and even financial lost we are suffering due to our connection to the one we love.       So, by definition toxicity means the quality of being toxic or poisonous/the quality of being very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way. When we look at just the couples we named above we can physically see the harm being done and the affect it is having on the partner suffering through the toxicity of their partner, the pain in their eyes the humi...

 In light of the Oscars and the altercation between Will Smith and Chris Rock we find that old trauma in which Mr. Smith had not dealt with brought about an unfortunate out burst of emotional rage against Mr. Rock due to a joke pertaining to his wife Jada. If you have read Mr. Smith's book in the early chapters he discusses how he felt himself a coward for not being able to protect is mother not just from physical abuse but verbal as well these feelings if not dealt with can feaster into greater emotional issues and these are issues of his childhood. So, to see his wife in pain from being verbally attacked triggered in him a response that was unfortunate and could of had far worst consequences. In the past several years we have witnessed a downward spiral in his marriage as well as his home life in general. I believe this is having a great affect on his mental and emotional state because even through he has an open marriage I believe the affair Jada had with August was unsuspected ...

 Having done a small poll of my peers I asked a simple question what was the real reason you decided to marry? Some said love but most where unsure some answers were I needed a place to stay and we got along really well and we knew that eventually we might marry so why not take a leap of faith. One guy said I loved the independence and stability that my wife had and somethings I was working towards she had already achieved so to marry her was a come up for me. One of the women in the poll simply said I was tired of being by myself so instead of being lonely I settled for someone who might not be everything I want but he is good to me. Listening to these answers I can't lie I became a bit weary because to me marriage is based off of love, commitment, mutual affection and God's purpose for the union. So, to hear that so many are marrying for financial reasons and loneliness it's a mockery of the union God ordained from the beginning. I find it very hard to settle for anything...