Love After 40

 Well it's that time of year where we start to do some serious Spring cleaning not only in our homes but in our lives as a whole. I found that letting go of things can be rather difficult whither it be material or emotional if we deem any type of value in it.       How do we define what is still useful and what needs to go? One way would be that it still holds value in terms of usage if it's a household item, article of clothing and or  piece of equipment. But how do we define what has value in terms of emotional connections/baggage and if we should let it go?  Can I tell you that emotional baggage is the number one killer of new and budding relationships. Ask me how I know been there done that and that baggage had me literally judging my new partner unfairly because I refused to let go of the distrust, hurt, feelings of being unwanted, jealousy, pain and utter dysfunction that had taken place in the previous relationship. We say that we have let these...

 What is the meaning of love in terms of relationships? Defined it means an intense, deep affection for another person. How important is love or being in love in a marriage & or relationship? I asked these questions because I have talked to different couples, married folks and singles the answers they gave were very divided. I was always raised that love should be the driving factor to any relationship especially marriage but many young folks don't believe that love holds much stalk in the actual nuptials they take. Crazy huh? Why marry someone your not in love with that love is the thing that will keep you from stepping out. I have talked to many a different individual who have cheated and almost all of them said that they were never in love with their spouse but they do love them. What???? Well, because love is a action word you have to work at it for it to be relevant so a lot of times what we call love isn't love at all it is simply having some compatibility and or lust...

 I have been asking myself this one deep question is any relationship worth my peace. You might ask in terms of what because self peace covers a many issues and things not just in relationships but in life. I have found that in many instances I am a generally peaceful individual I don't do drama or even take on stress because long ago I developed the mentality to let go let flow and it has changed my life.       Granted I was not always that way the death of my husband in 2014 really opened my eyes to how much stress and unchangeable issues that I carried daily on my shoulders and it was literally sucking the life straight out of me and of course I didn't see it. The crazy thing is that a lot of times when we are going through certain things or situations  we fail to even realize how much they impact who we are and even what we look like. Stress is a silent killer that will have you having strokes, heart attacks ,high blood pressure and even age you as well...

 In my 45 years of life I have battled depression many times in my younger years. The simple fact is not having the ability to cope with some of life's most challenging moments is a real thing. So many people are walking around stick inside themselves yet outwardly looking happy and at ease. Why? Because we began to hide the struggle and suppress issues such as feeling inadequate, dealing with childhood trauma, postpartum depression, mental illness and just being overwhelmed with the responsibilities of life. The clinical definition for depression is (major depressive disorder) a serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act.  6 Symptoms of Depression to watch out For Feelings of Hopelessness Irritability Affected Concentration Loss of Interest                                               ...

 In this mornings strawberry letter please be advised that this is a general synopsis of the letter. There was a young lady who was given a position at the work place of a friends husband and by the way he helped her get the job. She started noticing that he was going to met up with a woman everyday around the same time so she was getting suspicious that something was going on with her friend's husband and this mystery woman. She took it upon herself to have her friend's husband followed as well as getting information about who this woman was which turned out she was a local attorney. Granted in the letter she explains that this went on for quite awhile before she started to investigate and felt she should get information in order to inform her friend of her husband's potential behavior. Once she gained enough evidence she had her friend come to the job and catch her husband in action and boy did she catch him. Her husband lied and said that he was seeing this woman to deal...

 I don't believe that it is at all our job to change anyone when we love we should love that person as a whole the good the bad the ugly. I always say if I must change the person I am with for any reason they are not for me and I will not destroy another persons mate simply because I want what I want. I think a lot of times we have unreal expectations of our romantic mates and instead of building them up we end up tearing them down in a quest to help them quote unquote  better themselves. STOP trying to make individuals into your cookie cutter version of a mate and except them for who they truly are and experience the wonderful person in whom you say you fell in love with. Can you say that you have truly fallen in love with someone in whom you want to change the answer is a clear no because that would mean you have fallen for someone in whom doesn't exists but except in your mind. The harsh reality is that getting to truly know someone can take a life time and that person wil...

 In many cases we don't even know we are loving the wrong person because our ego and emotions can distort the reality of things so much so that we fail to see the damage we are doing not only to ourselves but to the individuals we claim to love. I have been found in this situation quite a few times and I have found that my loyalty to people is one of my biggest problems I have because if I love you or care for you deeply I never want to be the person that just walks away or causes harm so I will ride that thing out till the wheels fall off and what I have found out is that this is not always the answer we have to learn when it's time to move on before we cause more harm than good not only to ourselves but to others.       Love is a very tricky emotion and a lot of times we base it off of words never looking into the actions behind those words. I can say I love you a thousand times but if I can't ever put those words into action in the form of just being able to...