Love After 40

 I have found that everyone uses the term I love you so very loosely, especially in romantic relationships. Why do you think that is? I have a hypothesis about it and it deals with what we were taught that love was in our youth. We must understand taught behavior follows us into adulthood and if we are not careful that learned behavior will wreak havoc in our adult life in terms, of employment, finances, romantic relationships, and even our mental health.       Growing up I realized I had never seen much in terms of public displays of affection between my parents and this literally made me as an adult shy away from it in my marriages because I couldn't rationalize why exactly it was needed. Now, in the intimacy of my bedroom, it was on and popping with no inhibitions, and anything my partner needed I was willing to indulge him. Yet, I was never one to say the word I love you because to me it meant many a different things and they were all based on action. So, in...

 I have been thinking about a big issue that raises its head in relationships today, especially in the age of technology. It would be the ability to let go or give up things that potentially can harm your relationship in terms of social media and friends of the opposite sex.  I had a great conversation with a very dear friend of mine who voiced the fact that any woman in a relationship with him would have to give up friends from the opposite sex especially those in which there was ever a sexual or romantic connection. I can't say that I totally agreed with that because there are friends that I have that at one point we were in a romantic relationship and it didn't work out so we remained friends and that's all there is between us is genuine friendship.  Now let me be clear if at any time something more is felt by either party in the friendship in terms of romantic feelings that friendship should be cut off because you are crossing into dangerous territory which could pote...

 In this fast pace society we live in it's hard to make time for yourself and let go of the everyday stress that boggles your life and that can be deadly. I have found that since I have gotten older my body deals with stress very differently than when I was in my twenties.  Stress now causes weight gain mostly around my middle section which increases my chances for a heart attack and or stroke. I deal with terrible headaches and body aches sometimes that literally can put me down for days. These symptoms magnify my underlying illness which is Lupus making fatigue and muscle pain unbearable at times so I had to find away to release the stress of my everyday life in order to secure the health of the future me. Meditation is one of the greatest forms of releasing stress the deep breathing and clearing of ones mind does wonders for the body and it's a very easy practice. When I meditate I use that time to pray and connect with my creator. As I speak out loud the issues of my heart...

 Well it's that time of year where we start to do some serious Spring cleaning not only in our homes but in our lives as a whole. I found that letting go of things can be rather difficult whither it be material or emotional if we deem any type of value in it.       How do we define what is still useful and what needs to go? One way would be that it still holds value in terms of usage if it's a household item, article of clothing and or  piece of equipment. But how do we define what has value in terms of emotional connections/baggage and if we should let it go?  Can I tell you that emotional baggage is the number one killer of new and budding relationships. Ask me how I know been there done that and that baggage had me literally judging my new partner unfairly because I refused to let go of the distrust, hurt, feelings of being unwanted, jealousy, pain and utter dysfunction that had taken place in the previous relationship. We say that we have let these...

 What is the meaning of love in terms of relationships? Defined it means an intense, deep affection for another person. How important is love or being in love in a marriage & or relationship? I asked these questions because I have talked to different couples, married folks and singles the answers they gave were very divided. I was always raised that love should be the driving factor to any relationship especially marriage but many young folks don't believe that love holds much stalk in the actual nuptials they take. Crazy huh? Why marry someone your not in love with that love is the thing that will keep you from stepping out. I have talked to many a different individual who have cheated and almost all of them said that they were never in love with their spouse but they do love them. What???? Well, because love is a action word you have to work at it for it to be relevant so a lot of times what we call love isn't love at all it is simply having some compatibility and or lust...

 I have been asking myself this one deep question is any relationship worth my peace. You might ask in terms of what because self peace covers a many issues and things not just in relationships but in life. I have found that in many instances I am a generally peaceful individual I don't do drama or even take on stress because long ago I developed the mentality to let go let flow and it has changed my life.       Granted I was not always that way the death of my husband in 2014 really opened my eyes to how much stress and unchangeable issues that I carried daily on my shoulders and it was literally sucking the life straight out of me and of course I didn't see it. The crazy thing is that a lot of times when we are going through certain things or situations  we fail to even realize how much they impact who we are and even what we look like. Stress is a silent killer that will have you having strokes, heart attacks ,high blood pressure and even age you as well...

 In my 45 years of life I have battled depression many times in my younger years. The simple fact is not having the ability to cope with some of life's most challenging moments is a real thing. So many people are walking around stick inside themselves yet outwardly looking happy and at ease. Why? Because we began to hide the struggle and suppress issues such as feeling inadequate, dealing with childhood trauma, postpartum depression, mental illness and just being overwhelmed with the responsibilities of life. The clinical definition for depression is (major depressive disorder) a serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act.  6 Symptoms of Depression to watch out For Feelings of Hopelessness Irritability Affected Concentration Loss of Interest                                               ...